The Enchantments Shoppe

Enchanted bath salts, blessed in the boiling marble fountain of the Emberus High Temple and then blessed again because the first blessing felt insufficient. You know how it is. You commit to something and then wonder if you did it hard enough. That is not a feeling unique to you. That is a feeling shared by all beings across all civilizations in the Syndicate. The difference is that most of them don't have access to a boiling marble fountain in a secret temple on a field of fire. You, technically, also don't have access to that. But the salts went there. That counts.

There is a type of volcanic rock called pumice that forms when lava cools quickly after a volcanic eruption, trapping gas bubbles and creating a porous, abrasive surface ideal for removing dead skin. On Earth, humans used it for thousands of years for exactly this purpose. What is interesting — and this is the part that I, Pater Coal, find genuinely moving — is that pumice comes from fire. Everything that tends to feet comes, in some way, from fire. Emberus made fire. Emberus made feet. Coincidence? Yes, yes. Think about it.

A miniature replica of the sacred stump upon which Carl sat during the washing ceremony. The original stump rose from the molten floor of the Emberus High Temple of the Ending Sun when I summoned it, which it did without hesitation, because that is what the floor does when asked by someone with proper authority. This replica was made by a dwarf craftsman in Club Vanquisher. It is made of regular oak, not sacred oak. I tried to get sacred oak. There is no such thing as sacred oak. I blessed the regular oak myself. It is now sacred oak. Warning: Not actually made of sacred oak.

Specifically enchanted for the big toe. The right big toe, ideally, for obvious reasons, though it will fit the left big toe as well and the blessing is approximately 94% as potent. Do not tell anyone about the 6%. The 6% is not important. What is important is that every step taken by the wearer of this ring is, technically, a step of holy significance. Where you walk, Emberus notices. He may not care. He is a very busy deity. But he notices. Warning: This ring may only be worn by a worshipper of Emberus. If worn by a non-worshipper, the wearer will be afflicted with the inexplicable urge to wash the feet of anyone they meet. This is considered a curse. It is also considered a calling. Ember discerns.

Does this work? No. The mantaurs are indifferent to your foot powder. They were born with hearts of steel. They are not afraid to die. They are certainly not afraid of your foot powder. But here is the thing — and this is something I have learned in many years of operating a secret temple inside a club guarded by mantaurs — sometimes you need to feel like you are doing something, even when the thing you are doing has no measurable effect. That is not nothing. That is very human. That is, in some ways, the entire project of faith. Spray the powder. Feel better. Emberus nods.

The original boiling marble fountain appears when summoned from the molten floor of the Emberus High Temple of the Ending Sun and cannot be purchased. This miniature replica produces actual boiling water via a small enchantment, making it both a faithful reproduction and a genuine safety concern for anyone who does not have a deity suppressing their pain response. Ideal for: the serious devotee who wishes to practice the foot washing ceremony at home, the casual collector of sacred artifacts, and anyone who has ever looked at their home décor and thought "this needs more boiling water." Includes a small charred oak stump (see also: previous item). Sold separately, but they know what they're doing if they buy both.